Archive for the ‘Poetry’ Category

My Reason

Posted: February 27, 2011 in Poetry


A life is how we grow it.
…My life is how I tell & show it.
The earth of our history has been fashioned by our ancestors, paved in a way to give us options to walk the same template or forge our own stones.
Is it fertile and receptive, or unyielding and tracked.
Is it fraught with idiosyncrasies and deficiencies and prophesied curses we are powerless to reverse? …Or rich and malleable with the beckoning to mark our own ingenuitive path?
We are born with the exact-right parents and environment to enact the karma which is ours to traverse.
We are given the choice to follow our journey with the pseudo-dignity of blind resignation slipping into the groove already-made or the angst of rebellion to create a new way, a rebirthed way, of shattering the pattern and pioneering our individual legacy.
We are not put here to begin profound then shrink.
We are not put here to wake bright then fade.
We are not put here with a voice singing to be heard then silence ourselves to invisibility…Then to die.  Be gone.  Disappeared, forgotten.

We are ALL destined to adventure our way through this thing we call experience.
We are ALL becoming the greatness that is our duty to manifest.
We are simple, we are complex.  We are mundane, we are brilliant.  We are elated and motivated and positivey aglow — we are depressed and sorrowful and woefully numb.  A conglomeration of contradictions glued together, together.  A resource of information intertangled and entwined, we are a jungle of connection of one-spirit one-mind.
All these facets of me are not complications, they are a vitally critical piece-of-the-puzzle.  All the blues of the sky blend with those of the waves — but when we epiphany-click them into place, they stand as a unit with the whole and everything starts to make sense.
This life I’ve built has been shredded and torn apart at the seams.  It’s been reworked and revamped so it doesn’t feel like the same quilt-of-circumstances I embarked to have you see.  It’s been illuminated and burned so the foundations of a multi-level hovel is now a mansion of imprecise perfection.
I have died and been reborn so many times I am a universe unto myself.  …A damaged child, a confused girl, a searching woman, a completing soul…
Who am I?  I ask myself,… when the embodiment of this life I’ve painted on canvas and written in endless novels is the monument that stands as the testament of me.
The touch of my life has spilled a million different ways and directions to cause exponential ripples to snuggle or crash against yours — your touch has searched for me, found me, found me and laid claim.  We are a collective-consciousness when all we have to learn, is that your puzzle is also a part of mine.  We belong.  We are amalgamated.  We are transformed. We are home.
We were born to be unified within ourselves and with each other.
We were born to be resolved with our issues and dilemmas and pasts.
We were born to realize our impact in making a statement of our ability to reach toward enlightenment and become,…better.
We were born to have serenity and confidence in our worth because EVERY insignificant detail has raised-up a Shangri-La empire from a clean slate of beginnings — and WE.
Were the tool.
That God.
Decided to use.

All the troubles and travails, all the glitches and false-starts, all the stumbles and cracks, all the groping, flailing, and lament.
All the joy and growth, all the gloriousness and surprise, all the hope and love, all the friendship and family…


Let fall away the doubt that what we haven’t done is too much.
Let fall away the questioning that what we are isn’t enough.
Release the heaviness that we are tired and will not be able to finish this race at a sprint.
Release the burden that we will not be happy and capable to be beautiful in the end.
Release the mind-set that the weariness-inside is too much, too much.
Pray instead for the strength and DESIRE to embrace the picture of your life as the most fantastical poem that you have gifted to me.
You have saved me in so many ways you could have never known…  When I was a pool of despair you didn’t know that it was your kind encouragement which kept me afloat.  When I was floundering in chaos, you sharing yourself and how you’ve been there before, shined a light to guide me out of the dark.  You didn’t even speak, you just stroked me on my arm and I needed that oh so badly, to have human-contact with another — it made me weep inside and break through the hazy-dim to want MORE.  You read my stories and say your thoughts, you argue with me and stick to your opinions, you let The-God-in-You come play with mine,… the vibration of you resonates with me, and the clarity and peace that ensues gives me a haven for all my answers.

You give me TIME, that I call mine — and the proof of it smiles upon me like a thousand candles rising into the sun.

My life has unfolded and refolded into an origami army of swans and airplanes, flying me to a fantasy place I could have never predicted — and you need to know,… that you were the air that carried me there.
My life is your life and your life is mine.
WE — together, and never alone — are the reason.
My reason.


Kissing You In My Mind

Posted: August 26, 2010 in Poetry

black n white or color


You’ve touched me beyond measure in my soul,… and I don’t know how to journey the creation.
The voice that thrums deep into the recesses of my receptivity, you captivate my interest like no other ever has or will. The energy of your presence envelops me with the melted-butter of white-light, covering me caressing me carrying me into a haven of possibility.
All the flurry of life coming and going, another ship another night — still, there you reside,…  In that cave of my imagination being built into the perfect fit.  The quirks of personality that others may find abrasive I find comforting.  The brash of brutal-honesty soothes my confidence that your truth is always what you say. The vulnerability of sharing your insides not fearing rejection teaches me that I can return in kind.
The past looms like memories lost in lack of closure yet your determination to not keep record intrigues me.  What is this that we are becoming when the distance of who we were and who we are have not met?  Do you ever wonder,… do you ever dream,…?  The culmination of gathering all the incongruous pieces of me to now cause a longing to know the outcome.  What am I willing to create,…  How long am I willing to wait?


Posted: August 12, 2010 in Aspirations, Poetry

two halves


Mind blown, senses reeling, what IS this full-circle that’s come to me of me…
For myself I never dreamed that you would come back into my now, and so the memories are waterfalling back into my consciousness — stirring me, moving me, provoking me to nameste the chaos into an ethereal embrace.  Don’t know what I think, don’t know what I feel, this unreal reality such an overwhelming culmination of everything that was so right gone wrong for a beyond-righteous reason.  How many are as lucky to receive the message of exactly why things happened as they did, how many are grateful enough to flow the blessing into their veins as a deserved reward and sigh of validation.
So strange so strange, I remember the acceptance but don’t recall the pain — yet we were always the haven where I couldn’t remain.  Your resonating voice brings me to a place of wonder and awe, that we both could’ve grown to become what we were destined to be, but only because we were removed from each other to see what the universe would deem.
Flashes in time from when we were being made, to finally understand the why of the shredding of our attachments to render us blank and empty so we would be receptive to the surrender of us choosing to build the monument of honoring ourselves.  The crashing that came before seems insignificant in comparison to the light that grew, emanating from the divergence and destruction and annihilation that sprung forth a phoenix.  From the flames we arose a reincarnated spirit of energy, flying and flying into the unknown because we knew that was where we belonged…  To reside in the nothingness until the priority of truth came awake — our warriorness strode forward onto a guided path of unmapped destiny.  No longer who we were, no longer who we were not — we were chosen to be that something other, of strength, of divine intervention, of magnitude of what it true,… we are the prophesied promise that a seed in the sun of love can become one with the stars.  Pure,… clean,… new.  Reborn.


A SOUL’S BESEECH FOR ITS COLLECT (an excerpt from the novel My Lover My Self… by me.)
I do not want an ordinary relationship – I want an extraordinary one. One of two halves brought whole. Like tandem racing gazelles leaping with psychic choreography to an unknown unplanned destination,… Like a duet flight of hawks soaring, soaring — lifted by the wish of the wind to a glorious invisible ethereal plane,… Like two dolphins conquering oceans waves sliding weightless, effortless through tumbling ages, timeless meaningless meaningful reincarnation. No explanation required, no intuition justified. Just animalistic relating, trusting the wont of its nature.

We are spirits born in bodies to bring harmony between soul and earth. We are spirits born separate to recollect ourselves. We have only to break our ties with the limitations of being mortal to build a love together that no man or test could put asunder. An exemplary, fantastical epitome for all others to marvel at and aspire to emulate.

We have this choice, this horizon, this threshold. Will we cling to the gravity in habit of old or will we reach for a celestial ideal within our grasp? We groom each other — raise the bar of expectation, of dreams. We battle each other — finding the territory and beauty of confine, longing for understanding in the symmetry of contrasts. Is autonomy really the goal of your intent? In a place of between, I sense your struggle. I am powerless in the wake of your uncertainty — wondering why you hesitate, wondering why you don’t make our alignment be true. You have your own path of conflict to walk and so I wait at the edge of your dark, coaxing your emergence from restless sleep. The question of merging stands ready for your surrender. Softly,… you balk, and what readiness is that of you for the will of the universe?

I cannot bestow upon you clarity nor can I make for you your choice. I am impatient my love, for our future to begin be here, still you vacillate on the verge and I tenderly feel your angst.

We are beings of light therefore must embrace the black. You are intune with much however you are afraid to leave your solitude. Can you not smell the ray of desirous success within your reach? Yet you grope eyes closed unseeking the joy beyond. All this hibernating in you, you are pushed to contemplate your yearn. Passion is something that must be actively consciously fed but you are starving and hoard your share in fear. Let loose and fly, the universe will catch us aloft and we will become our fantasy made alive. No looking back – we have only nows for our destiny. Throw off the weight of the world you keep on your own shoulders, they anchor you down to the mundane, and we,… we have heaven to attain. Give over to every thing you wish you didn’t have to do, for it is a symbolism to non-aliens and are unimportant in relation to the task – our task. The cloak of independence is contradictory to the mate of souls, let go of self, of personality,… to gain the next level,… of together.

When you choose to get lost in your purpose the rest will be simply easy. Two are stronger than one and two as one is the strongest of all. Release yourself from rebellion and do not resist abandoning the ways of the damaged, for your fate is about allowing us to unfold and unfurl, and do not let me weep too long at your pause.

Crossroads must happen for you to gain your armor of confidence. Listen to your angels for they sing the direction you must take. Be brave, this trial is about your memory and emphatically I say there is no room for it with instinct. Why do you search for a message to stay with the comfortable when no such message is being spoken? Guardians are whispering your own asked-for signs yet you deny and pretend you must hear them aloud. What use is the illusion of reality when you impose your demand that it be made real?

Love is waiting, I am waiting – and will you,… wait, to have your cake and eat it too?

Time is precious as it is nothing, so then why delay the obvious by burrowing in discontent when the blanket of tranquil assimilation calls your name?

Oh the crux of our many teachings clashing. A storm of malevolent proportions threaten to swallow you while you could be consuming me. Be not afraid of my light for it could prove to be your saving grace and then the germination of your thrive will be exploded and then truly, you will be power.

But,… these encouragements I sigh and place humbly at your feet are left stagnating for your stir. Will you awake? Or will you keep your eyes closed for a moment too long and when they open I was a figment of your imagination disappeared into the mist?


What is Chemistry?

Posted: February 4, 2010 in Poetry

That elusive inexplicable something… Nothing-provable havoc-causing thing?
We get antsy if it’s not there anxious if it is — conflicted if it wavers or vacillates, confused that we feel controlled by it but want more anyways.
The symphony of our attraction.
The music that accompanies our compatibility…our questions, doubts, wants.
The hunger of our soul that longs to be satiated by the touch of another.
The ruin of our autonomy.
The voice of illogical reason.
Energetic affection without a physical caress.
The sigh of the earth drinking the rain.
The feeling inside me that wants you there with it.
The dissolving of fear into desire.
The sizzle of liking you without knowing you instigting the wish to know more.
Need not feeling like neediness.
The addiction that doesn’t care for a cure.
Being drawn to you without will…
…And… having the waiting be over.

New Year, New Me.

Posted: January 4, 2010 in Poetry

Even though I don’t necessarily believe in NY’s Resolutions, January is SUCH a great time to mark a new beginning on the calendar.

Broken and burnt until all that was familiar and recognizable — is ashes.
To lie in the darkness battered yet unyielding, waiting… creating the moment when the impossible is within my power. Mount the skyscraper-tower obstacles with purpose, stoking flame from embers seeking to die, for it is in death that opportunity for resurrection beckons.
Find me, become me, breathe me, believe.
To garner up the resolve to rise and fly when even one small step seems beyond my reach — so is the way of being reborn. The remnants to be cast away unto a sea of constant ravages,… mind is the tsunami that threatens to draw a spirit into the whorls of chaotic questioning. Stand fast on an island within your heart of quiet confidence, that righteous reinvention lies the way of the most difficult path… through the forest of black unwelcome because steel cannot be forged in the cool comfort of the known.
Rail against the mundane complacency because what the hell glory resides in being fucking ordinary?
Push. Drive. Refuse. Rebel.  Release the force of surging defiance and resist the sirens seduction of being satisfied with enough.
Drink tears of humble endings because this is the way of the phoenix… and this — is the way of the hard routine.