My Reason

Posted: February 27, 2011 in Poetry

MY REASON

A life is how we grow it.
…My life is how I tell & show it.
The earth of our history has been fashioned by our ancestors, paved in a way to give us options to walk the same template or forge our own stones.
Is it fertile and receptive, or unyielding and tracked.
Is it fraught with idiosyncrasies and deficiencies and prophesied curses we are powerless to reverse? …Or rich and malleable with the beckoning to mark our own ingenuitive path?
We are born with the exact-right parents and environment to enact the karma which is ours to traverse.
We are given the choice to follow our journey with the pseudo-dignity of blind resignation slipping into the groove already-made or the angst of rebellion to create a new way, a rebirthed way, of shattering the pattern and pioneering our individual legacy.
We are not put here to begin profound then shrink.
We are not put here to wake bright then fade.
We are not put here with a voice singing to be heard then silence ourselves to invisibility…Then to die.  Be gone.  Disappeared, forgotten.

We are ALL destined to adventure our way through this thing we call experience.
We are ALL becoming the greatness that is our duty to manifest.
We are simple, we are complex.  We are mundane, we are brilliant.  We are elated and motivated and positivey aglow — we are depressed and sorrowful and woefully numb.  A conglomeration of contradictions glued together, together.  A resource of information intertangled and entwined, we are a jungle of connection of one-spirit one-mind.
All these facets of me are not complications, they are a vitally critical piece-of-the-puzzle.  All the blues of the sky blend with those of the waves — but when we epiphany-click them into place, they stand as a unit with the whole and everything starts to make sense.
This life I’ve built has been shredded and torn apart at the seams.  It’s been reworked and revamped so it doesn’t feel like the same quilt-of-circumstances I embarked to have you see.  It’s been illuminated and burned so the foundations of a multi-level hovel is now a mansion of imprecise perfection.
I have died and been reborn so many times I am a universe unto myself.  …A damaged child, a confused girl, a searching woman, a completing soul…
Who am I?  I ask myself,… when the embodiment of this life I’ve painted on canvas and written in endless novels is the monument that stands as the testament of me.
The touch of my life has spilled a million different ways and directions to cause exponential ripples to snuggle or crash against yours — your touch has searched for me, found me, found me and laid claim.  We are a collective-consciousness when all we have to learn, is that your puzzle is also a part of mine.  We belong.  We are amalgamated.  We are transformed. We are home.
We were born to be unified within ourselves and with each other.
We were born to be resolved with our issues and dilemmas and pasts.
We were born to realize our impact in making a statement of our ability to reach toward enlightenment and become,…better.
We were born to have serenity and confidence in our worth because EVERY insignificant detail has raised-up a Shangri-La empire from a clean slate of beginnings — and WE.
Were the tool.
That God.
Decided to use.

All the troubles and travails, all the glitches and false-starts, all the stumbles and cracks, all the groping, flailing, and lament.
All the joy and growth, all the gloriousness and surprise, all the hope and love, all the friendship and family…

Life.

Let fall away the doubt that what we haven’t done is too much.
Let fall away the questioning that what we are isn’t enough.
Release the heaviness that we are tired and will not be able to finish this race at a sprint.
Release the burden that we will not be happy and capable to be beautiful in the end.
Release the mind-set that the weariness-inside is too much, too much.
Pray instead for the strength and DESIRE to embrace the picture of your life as the most fantastical poem that you have gifted to me.
You have saved me in so many ways you could have never known…  When I was a pool of despair you didn’t know that it was your kind encouragement which kept me afloat.  When I was floundering in chaos, you sharing yourself and how you’ve been there before, shined a light to guide me out of the dark.  You didn’t even speak, you just stroked me on my arm and I needed that oh so badly, to have human-contact with another — it made me weep inside and break through the hazy-dim to want MORE.  You read my stories and say your thoughts, you argue with me and stick to your opinions, you let The-God-in-You come play with mine,… the vibration of you resonates with me, and the clarity and peace that ensues gives me a haven for all my answers.

You give me TIME, that I call mine — and the proof of it smiles upon me like a thousand candles rising into the sun.

My life has unfolded and refolded into an origami army of swans and airplanes, flying me to a fantasy place I could have never predicted — and you need to know,… that you were the air that carried me there.
My life is your life and your life is mine.
WE — together, and never alone — are the reason.
My reason.

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Comments
  1. Deze blog is geweldig. Ik was vrij zeker van dat mensen vinden het interessant, omdat ik zeker doen.

  2. lisa bellomy says:

    my soul was hurting when I knew there was another that shared the pain of what I have struggled with so many times…when I have tried to explain, to reason, to understand what it is that hundreds of years of life that I have not known, that I have not lived, that I did not ask for. I was born into a world of something that was and is bigger than I. Something that I cannot fathom of how it works, of why it is, of where it will end? Why was I born? Why do I sometimes pray that I will not awake, when there are others that pray to make it thru the night? I cannot understand what my purpose is in life when I have the life that I did not choose,..that I have a past that I do not understand, that I did not ask for but am held to. I am reminded of every wrong, of every mistake, of every failure that I have not even made…and the ones that I have are always thrown at me like acid on a rose. It cuts so deep that I have bled out, that there is no blood to ooze from anymore. Yet I still exist and remain. Is it my fate to carry this through my life? To touch all that I do, say, think or dream? Why is it that I was born? What purpose do I have in life if I am such a disappointment to that who bore me? That no matter what my life is, will become or was it will never be good enough, successful enough or approved of. So why is it that I am? Will there ever be a time that it will make sense? that it will be revealed to me that the hurt, the shame, the ridicule and the disappointment that i have seemed to be placed in this universe for will be shown to me? The purpose for what I am? You my friend have shared your soul with me without shame or fear that it will be nonsense. You have become a sister in a world that is but for few to understand. That answers may never be revealed to us but we strive on in support of one another to make reason of our being. I will always be grateful for having such a friend with such insight and intelligence. With love and understanding and a shoulder as strong as the mountains that we climb evryday

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